|In conversation with Goddess Narayani Amman|
Ariyur, Vellore, Tamilnadu
On my first meeting with Amman in January 1996, what I had liked was the simplicity, innocence and the honesty of the young man. Though he looked young and vulnerable he seemed to have some clarity of a mission and a conviction to do a few things for the society. He was keen on helping the local people, setting up educational and medical facilities, providing supplementary nutrition like milk for children and so on. He was also in the process of setting up a goshala (cow protection shelter). In today’s philanthropic concept, setting up of a goshala has no place. But as per the ancient Indian values, running of a goshala was perhaps an act of the highest charity.
With only a school leaving certificate and no formal education in scriptures and ancient texts, he seemed to have profound knowledge. I was very curious to know what was the source of his learning? Was it inner and self-manifest or was it the residue of knowledge gained in a previous birth (as we Hindus believe!).
When did you realise that the mother goddess was with you?
When I was six or seven I used to visit the temple and watch the Abhishekham (anointing the deity with milk, honey, ghee, oil, etc.). I used to feel as if all these things were being applied to me. That was my first experience of feeling non-duality with the goddess. I also used to feel like worshipping myself. It was like the goddess was always with me but she exposed herself only in 1992.
When did you realise that you had the capability for materialising objects? Did you do any sadhana (ritualistic practice) to attain these powers?
I do not exactly remember when it began. When I was young I had wishful thinking like all children. If I wished for something I wanted it in my hand. Then it started actually happening. I was so young that I used these powers as a plaything and with the boys in the school, even showed off. By the time I was sixteen it got fully manifested. Another thing which I remember is that from a very young age, when I was perhaps five or six years old, people around started asking me questions and I used to answer very confidently. They would ask me if someone would pass or fail? Or if someone would recover from an illness or not? If something good/bad will happen or not? I do not remember when and how this process started. I did not do any sadhana. It just came as a gift.
Did you have any guru or a religious preceptor? How did you learn scriptures?
I did not come across any guru or teacher. I never studied scriptures. I haven’t even seen any. Whatever knowledge I have is inner knowledge, for it comes from within, as if it has always been there.
Even if you enjoyed certain powers, what was the necessity to make them public?
When I was sixteen, the goddess manifested itself as Swayambhu and the event became public knowledge. From that day these powers are used only to attract the people to the goddess, so that they can lead better lives. I do not really give much importance to them. These powers do not contribute to knowledge. They have nothing to do with the enlightenment. They are just a gift and should be treated so. At the most, these can be used as a visiting card to bring people to the Goddess.
What is the difference between you and Saibaba?
Saibaba has been serving humanity for a long time. He has his own way and his own path. God creates many vehicles for himself. In this case the Goddess decided to manifest in a small village in Ariyur, for the common man, and it has so happened. Everybody cannot reach ‘Saibaba’, so God manifests in several parts of the world to reach different groups of people. They are all ‘Kalki Avatars’ to protect ‘Dharma’ (religion) in Kaliyuga (the present age of moral decay). There are a lot of poor people coming here. In a small village the seed is sown and Dharma is protected.
I have watched your daily puja. It is very long drawn. Is this to attain higher powers?
The puja is for one’s own satisfaction. It is for binding the mind. To keep it out of activity. It is not done to attain the powers, but the powers come automatically. You may ask me, if I am Amman, then why do I worship Amman? When I do puja, I bring the entire universe into my body and mind. I worship Amman on behalf of the entire universe and for universal good.